FLATBUSH ZOMBIES play The Fonda Theatre, The Observatory Santa Ana and North Park Apr. 27-30

Flatbush ZOMBIES, featuring members Meechy Darko, Zombie Juice and Erick The Architect, will be hitting SoCal as part of their 3001 tour. The Brooklyn trio’s sound combines a traditional hip-hop style with an electronic undertone that keeps a chilling beat when paired with classical instruments.

Their popularity sprouted from a huge online following starting with their first post on YouTube, “Thug Waffle” in 2012. Once on the R&B and Hip Hop radar, Flatbush began collaborating with artists such as The Underachievers, Joey Bad$$, Trash Talk and more, eventually touring alongside The Underachievers in 2014.

Their newly released debut album, 3001: A Laced Odyssey, reached No. 2 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums and Rap Albums Billboard chart and No. 10 on Billboard 200.

The song, “Glorious Thugs,” which is a tribute to Notorious B.I.G. and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony’s track “Notorious Thugs,” was released in advance of their album. The song starts off with a beautiful piano number followed by the harsh lyrics of the real world and, of course, the notorious mention of psychedelics that seem to be a key element of Flatbush ZOMBIES’ songwriting.

Prior to the album, the trio unleashed two mixtapes D.R.U.G.S. (2012) and BetterOffDead (2013), featuring rappers Danny Brown and Action Bronson, and collaborated on the EP Clockwork Indigo (2014) with The Underachievers.

Flatbush ZOMBIES is seeing their six years as a group pay off, playing some of their biggest headlining gigs of their careers. Catch them at The Fonda Theatre Apr. 27, The Observatory Santa Ana Apr. 28 and 29, or The Observatory North Park Apr. 30.

FLOGGING MOLLY play Irvine Meadows Mar. 17

St. Patrick’s Day isn’t just about Guinness-drenched mosh pits at a celtic punk show — it’s about a Guinness-drenched on-stage pub, too. Flogging Molly, the perfect seven-piece group of Celtic pride, is hitting Irvine Meadows on Mar. 17 before heading off to their Salty Dog Cruise immediately after.

With Dave King, Dennis Casey, Matthew Hensley, Nathen Maxwell, Bridget Regan, Robert Schmidt and Michael Alonso, Flogging Molly uses a mix of classical folk instruments, such as the mandolin and Uilleann Pipes, to contrast the hardcore, metal roots of the electric instruments. The band is the perfect balance of the 90’s punk scene held together by the heart of the Irish-American.

Punk parties and liquor aside, Flogging Molly has continued to craft lyrical masterpieces that follow the political current events and the hardships of the working class. Speed of Darkness, released in 2011, followed the job market crash that impacted the everyday person while appeasing the “bloodsucking leech CEO.”

The group’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration isn’t only going to be filled with classic hits from Speed of Darkness, Swagger, and other fan-favorite albums, but will also include some new songs that they are currently writing and rehearsing as a pre-release to their highly-anticipated, upcoming album.

“We’ve been in pre-production now for a while, we’ve written many songs,” Maxwell said. “We just need to set the date and pick the studio that we’re going to lay down the final track, but that hasn’t happened, yet. Until that happens, I don’t feel comfortable talking about release dates because we’re kind of at the point in our career where we don’t feel the need to put something out immediately. We’d just rather take our time with the music and do it right.”

Although the new album isn’t set for release yet, Flogging Molly will be performing a new single on the Jimmy Kimmel show prior to their Mar. 17 concert.

“I’m excited for our fans to hear (the single),” Maxwell said. “For me, what inspired the song is it was an ode to our guitar player’s father who passed away and there’s a little nice mention of him in the lyrics. It’s kind of like that hopeful idea ‘life is tough but you do your best.’ That’s what it means to me.”

Even with a new album in the works alongside their touring schedule, Flogging Molly is continuing a now annual tradition, their second Salty Dog Cruise.

“As soon as we get off stage from the Irvine Meadows show, we’re going to have to go straight to the airport and get on a private plane to Miami to get on the cruise the next morning. It’s going to be a pretty action-packed day for us. Last year we did it for the first time, and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I heard a lot of amazing, and almost life-changing feedback. The fact that it’s sold out this year, I couldn’t be happier. I just look forward to doing that until the day I die!”

KING’S X plays The Coach House Mar. 3

After working for months on side projects and solo work, King’s X are reconnecting and will appear at The Coach House on Mar. 3.

“Indescribable” is the only word that seems to truly capture King’s X’s genre. They are a band filled with intricate guitar and drum solos contrasted by deep and soulful lyrics. They are a blend of Pearl Jam meets 80’s hair metal, or, wait, Dream Theater meets funk? Every song is basically a new experience with King’s X. They are a band that you should listen to and know that you can’t predict anything. Every note and every finger pick is its own creation to a song that may be progressive metal, or soul/funk, or rock, or whatever else you could imagine.

“People have been trying to label us for years and years and years, to the point where I think there’s like eight different names mixed together,” bassist, Dug Pinnick said. “But we just call ourselves a rock band, it’s just plain and simple, and we let everyone else name it because I don’t know how to put it, we’re just rock and roll. (laughs)”

DUG PINNICK of KING’S X

With no new record to promote, the band holds true to the “fan favorites” when writing the setlist for their upcoming shows.

“We’re pretty much sticking to the old set list that we do,” Pinnick promised. “We hand-picked a setlist that we thought was sort of eclectic and we thought gave a round impression. Most people that come see King’s X are longtime fans, so instead of always just doing the hits, we also do a lot of not necessarily older stuff, but the things that the fans love.”

The band recently re-released Gretchen Goes to Nebraska (1989) and Faith Hope Love (1990) on vinyl via Metal Blade records. Vinyl sales, according to Pinnick, are at their prime, selling better than simple CDs.

Gretchen Goes to Nebraska is a prime example of their eclectic musical stylings, from Pinnick’s unmistakable, soul-filled belting of poetic lyrics, to guitarist, Ty Tabor’s string-picking masterpieces, all backed by the incredible drumming of Jerry Gaskill (who also happens to have a killer voice as show in his solo project).

The album was a turning point for King’s X as a second album. It helped to build their fan base from their first release Out of the Silent Planet by showing their ability to transition from slow-paced to fast-paced music in each song. Even without an overall theme, Gretchen Goes to Nebraska was a hit-after-hit album that landed King’s X on the map of the music world.

Once it was time for a third album, Faith Hope Love had high expectations to live up to. It hit the mark with a perfect taste of the talent this trio has in and out of their comfort zones. The album presented an eerie collection of lyrics and harmonizing to create songs such as “Faith Hope Love” and “Six Broken Soldiers” (a song you can hear Gaskill’s voice, front and center!).

Albums aside, performing live, no matter how big or small the venue, is the love of the music life.

“It’s more like a release to be able to get up and sing and play for people and get that energy out of your system that’s been pent up,” Pinnick said. “Because all of us artists are like that. We’re pent up with all this energy and we have to get in front of people and let it out. So that’s my outlet. That’s what I enjoy most, just playing for people and seeing them smile no matter what song it is.”

With the rekindling of the band, King’s X is setting forth to create a new album that is sure to draw in a new generation of fans and create, yet again, their own genre of music.

“We have plans to start writing a new record. It’s been about seven or eight years since we’ve put a record out, so our fans are getting upset!”

NICK CARTER plays House of Blues, Anaheim Feb. 26

Nick Carter, better known for his work with 90’s heartthrob boy band Backstreet Boys (BSB), will be hitting the stage at the House of Blues, Anaheim Feb. 26 respectively to promote his newest album All American.

Carter began his solo career in 2002 with his album Now Or Never reaching gold status in the U.S., Japan and Canada.

Even without the theatrical pop performances of his teen years, Carter has maintained a thriving music career releasing three solo albums while still maintaining a musical, and now on-screen, relationship with other boy band members. In April, Carter is set to release a SyFy film called “Dead 7”, featuring members from the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and O-Town.

While in the midst of preparing for his upcoming tour, Carter took time to talk to Concert Guide Live about the change from boy band to solo man, live show set lists and also a little bit about zombies.

CONCERT GUIDE LIVE: With the All American tour starting at the end of February, how are you preparing for the shows? What can fans expect from a live performance?
NICK CARTER: I am mentally preparing for sure. I’m always trying to create something new and something that fans will want to come see again and again. It is tough coming from Backstreet Boys because they are elaborate shows. I’m still growing as a solo artist. People don’t really know me as a solo artist. I’m trying to keep things exciting, fresh and abstract. It’s all about the music.

CGL: Although most of the setlist is focused on the newest album, will any old hits (solo or otherwise) make it to the stage?
NC: It’s a mixture for sure. Mostly solo but there may be some remixes of Backstreet Boys classics and a few surprises.

CGL: How have you grown personally as an artist since playing in a band to now playing solo?
NC: I love being able to perform my own songs that I have written. With Backstreet Boys, they weren’t songs that we had written, which is fine. I think the songs that I have written show that I have grown as a person.

CGL: Throughout your entire career, what song has stood out as the most meaningful to you and why?
NC: “Falling Down” from my last album. I listen to it and look back and see how far I have come. Even with the recent events, the journey hasn’t been easy. The song encompasses the struggle of what I’ve gone through and it’s a good reminder.

CGL: How has the music industry changed since you started in the business at the very young age of 12 with Backstreet Boys?
NC: Everything is so fast now. People’s attention spans are so quick. Social media also plays a huge role in the music industry. Fans want to be connected to their favorite artists and it’s cool that we can interact with them even when they can’t be at a show.

CGL: Aside from music, you are working on a zombie western called “Dead 7”. What made you head from music to the acting world?
NC: I love movies, especially old horror movies. I also love acting. It gives me an opportunity to go into a different world and play other characters.

Growing up I was so busy with BSB that I didn’t really have time to do the audition process that most people go through. So, I decided to write my own movie that I would want to act in and share it with the world. It will be premiering on SyFy Channel in April.

CGL: On the set you worked with longtime acquaintances from Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and O-Town. How does it feel to work closely with those who have been around since your pre-teen days?
NC: These are all of my friends. We all had the boy band thing in common and we can relate to each other. It’s great to be acting with them and they all love being creative and expressing themselves too. Filming with them was a lot of fun and created a lot of great memories. There was great on-screen chemistry with all of us together.

CGL: Is there anything else you are going to be working on in 2016?
NC: I’m just getting ready to be going on tour both on my own and with BSB. I’m gearing up for the movie release in April and getting ready for fatherhood as well.

ANTI-FLAG plays Observatory Santa Ana Feb. 25, North Park Feb. 26 and Troubadour Feb. 27 photo: Megan Thompson

The punk scene is a growing entity of activism that is pro-people, anti-war. The band Anti-Flag chose a band name that captures the political sentiment of their lyrics, approaching topics such as gun violence, the Black Lives Matter movement, and drone strikes.

In support of their album American Spring, members Justin Sane (guitar / vocals), Pat Thetic (drums), Chris Head (guitar) and Chris #2 (bass / vocals) will be hitting SoCal Feb. 25-27 playing the Observatory Santa Ana, the Observatory North Park and the Troubadour consecutively.

According to Sane, the revolutionary movements and civil wars in the Arab world that lashed out against oppression and censorship inspired American Spring.

“The record was really inspired on a lot of levels by the fact that what we saw happen with the Arab Spring was an uprising in a part of the world that was considered impossible to have an uprising in because of the kind of militaristic, police-state style themes that were in that part of the world,” Sane said.

The Arab Spring became the stepping-stone for an activist movement and gave Anti-Flag the push to inspire their fans to spark the same type of movements in the U.S.

“The Arab Spring didn’t necessarily have the kind of outcome we would have liked to have seen but what it did prove is that change is possible in any place at any time,” Sane said. “But of course change comes one person at a time; it comes from one person being brave enough to make a statement and take a stand. In the case of the Arab Spring, it was one young woman deciding she was going to go protest in the middle of the town square.”

Anti-Flag speaks out against the militaristic-focused world we are living in that continues to use violence as a means to an end. A big part of this is seen in the U.S. through drone strikes, something the band speaks about in their song “Sky is Falling”

“It’s a song where in a really personal way I tried to write in the perspective of someone who is in an area where it is impending that they are going to be bombed. That song, to me, is a statement not only of the terror that people deal with day in and day out because of the current geopolitical situation and a lot of the foreign policy in the United States, but it’s also a reflection of the kind of militarism that is continuously offered up as a solution to the world’s problems.

“What we’ve seen since 9/11, even since Obama has come into office, every time there is an escalation of militarism and, in President Obama’s case, the use of drones, we only see an increase of violence and an increase in strife and an increase in the people who become enemies of America.”

Drone strikes, however, are only the start of the activist album that is American Spring. “Fabled World,” the first song that was released from the album, focuses on the oppression that people face in a “white washed” world. The lyrics speak about how the weak and poor are taken advantage of in a capitalist’s world.

“A lot of the issues that are now a main part of the Black Lives Matter movement, these were all issues that were really on the forefront of our minds. The record became that much more relevant domestically.”

Punk rock has stripped the traditional “white kids” scene that it held to become a tool in the artistic political movement that isn’t afraid to approach the important issues of racism.

“Punk rock has traditionally been a white kids music. I don’t know why that is, but I know growing up in our little punk scene there was one black kid that I’d see,” Sane recalls. “What really drew me to punk rock was it was on the forefront of so many ideas, such as fighting racism, sexism, homophobia, and that people were judged on their actions and how they treat other people versus the color of their skin or their sexuality or their gender. The Black Lives Matter movement, when it started, I think, in the punk scene that was a no-brainer. That made total sense.”

With such strong themes in their lyrics, Anti-Flag has created a passionate following and inspired listeners. Even backed by their political focus the band performs with the same excitement in the music itself, not just in the meaning.

“One thing that I think is really special about our shows and one thing we always try to promote about our shows is that they should be a safe place for everyone to have an equal opportunity to have a good time. Our shows are a place for celebration of the fact that we found each other.”

DR. DOG plays The Observatory/North Park Feb. 20

Imagine driving down a long, empty road in the night as you stare out the window at the stars and hear the very subtle sound of your radio turned way down. That head-bobbing, comforting feeling of being alone but not lonely as you grab the volume knob and crank it way up to hear your favorite part of the song. That’s the exact serene and oh-so-perfect feeling you get when listening to Dr. Dog.

The six-piece, Philly-based band has an almost-folk, pseudo-futuristic twang that many indie bands aspire to. Dr. Dog will be reaching the Observatory/Santa Ana on Jan. 29 and Observatory/North Park Feb. 20, bringing along their electric vibes that dance through those who listen.

The band’s members Toby Leaman, Scott McMicken, Frank McElroy, Zach Miller, Eric Slick and Dimitri Manos play a diverse array of instruments, such as the banjo and omnichord, that each song has such a distinct style to itself. Dr. Dog can’t be contained by one genre, but rather touches base in all, from folk to pop to psychedelic to indie.

Although most bands use new material to move forward, Dr. Dog will be re-releasing their first album The Psychedelic Swamp on Feb. 5 with an updated and more enticing live-performance sound.

Dr. Dog is a band you get lost listening to, the kind of band that, somehow, you manage to never want to skip a song. Their most recent album, B-Room, follows the psychedelic trend and gives listeners that old Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart Club vibe with the ahead-of-their-time sounds that can’t quite be pinpointed as a specific instrument.

The song “The Truth” from B-Room is the starting point to a great album, giving a strong (and pretty immediate) feeling of nostalgia for absolutely no reason. Be warned, when you listen to this band you no longer have control over yourself, you will be swaying back and forth feeling like you’ve somehow known their music your whole life.

Along with beautiful songs, Dr. Dog’s music videos for B-Room, released through ANTI- Records, perfectly match the already-nostalgic feel by having a 90’s-home video look to it. Dr. Dog has gone from album-to-album capturing a distinct feeling that always pulls in their broadening fanbase.

Keep an eye out for the new/old album and definitely be ready for a live performance that not only keeps your attention with unmistakable Dr. Dog-sound, but gives you a sense of unity with the rest of the crowd.

MISS MAY I play the Glasshouse Feb. 21 photo: Travis Shinn

Ohio-based metalcore group Miss May I have returned to their heavy, thrash-filled roots with the release of their newest album Deathless. Miss May I will be touring this album, hitting the Glass House in Pomona Feb. 21. This album not only inspired fans to rekindle their love for metalcore, but also became a release and sort of personal memoir for the band’s personal trials and tribulations over the course of the years.

“We had a really rough two years — that was the biggest inspiration — and we wanted to sort of tell our fans what we were going through as a band and why we felt the way we felt,” Levi Benton (vocals) said. “It was cool because we haven’t written an aggressive upset record in a long time, so it was a first for us as well. We knew it’d be a cool little left hook sucker punch for our fans.”

Although the twist of events didn’t seem a positive one, turning the negative into an album truly became a blessing for the band.

“Ah, man, if you name it, we went through it,” Benton said. “Just contract stuff and personal stuff. It was like, when it rained it poured, it was really crazy. The only reason it was so dramatic for us was because we sort of never really had anything negative really happen in our careers. If that stuff didn’t happen, I don’t know what kind of record would have come out.”

Beginning with the title track “Deathless,” it was apparent that the band was set to revamp not only their sound, but also how the world, their fans and the music industry would view them. “You think you can take all that I’ve made?/Remember it’s another part of me/I will save another day to follow the dreams that will set me free/To follow the dreams that will set me free.” And follow their dreams they have. This album launched the music industry into remembering the beauty of mid-2000’s Miss May I and even landed them in Billboard’s Top 20 album list.

“’Deathless’, I think is the best song we’ve ever written,” Benton said. “We wrote it in a day. The cool thing about that song is that we already knew Joey (producer) and usually when you go in to new producers, it takes about a week to learn how the producer works and how he likes to do things. But Joey we knew for years, so we walked in, unpacked and started writing. We listened to it and we were like, ‘This song is so sick.’ It sucked because it was the first song and it was our favorite song, so it set the bar for the rest of the record. Every time we finished another song for the record it’d be like, ‘This is good, but it’s not ‘Deathless.””

Deathless is filled with emotion and raw metal musical talent that truly stand for what is to come of Miss May I and its members Benton, Justin Aufdemkampe (guitar), BJ Stead (guitar), Ryan Neff (bass/vocals) and Jerod Boyd (drums).

“I think it taught us that we wanted to really change it up for the crowd, because I think we were going on this trend that everyone is going on and I feel that people were trying to predict what the next record was going to sound like,” Benton said. “Then, with what we were going through, we just thought, ‘Screw it, if we’re going to do this, let’s do something weird, crazy, outside of the box. Let’s just write something old school and heavy like we used to be, because no one will expect that.’ That’s what everyone’s missing right now, that’s what we felt in the metal world. I think we wouldn’t have had that courage if we weren’t in such a bad place.”

Their tour is bound to be filled with a whole bunch of new — songs, attitude and other surprises to be left up to the band.

“I think we’re just going to go really heavy for that tour,” Benton said. “We have a lot of cool surprises for the tour. We want to show people that is really where we are heading for the future, records like Deathless.”

HALCYON WAY plays HOB/Anaheim Jan. 8

Halcyon Way, in support of their album Conquer, is heading out on a month-long tour in the U.S. alongside Queensryche, reaching the House of Blues in Anaheim on Jan. 8.

The group likes to grasp from all metal music spectrums, capturing intricate instrumental riffs and symphonic vocals, backed by gut-wrenching death vocals and heavy beats. Halcyon Way took the techniques from 80’s metal and redeveloped it with a progressive metal twist.

“We started as a progressive metal band, and when you’re in that genre, you’re kind of expected to write a lot of wanky passages… seven riffs here, and the bridge, and whatever,” lead guitarist, Jon Bodan said. “That’s cool, but we didn’t really want to do that so much. We wanted to write songs that just had big hooks and were straight to the point and they were catchy and people were going to bang their head to it. We wanted to just go straight to the throat with the new songs.”

Conquer started out with the typical lock-themselves-in-the-studio attitude, but resulted in a Billboard-charting album with songs such as “Web of Lies.”

“What we tried to do on that album was, we sat down before we finished writing everything, kind of when we had the skeletons of the songs, and we basically said, ‘Well, what’re we really good at as a band?'” Bodan said. “We felt like we were really good at writing big choruses and good riffs and things of that nature, so what we did was we said, ‘All right, let’s focus on the stuff we feel we’re really good at, and let’s cut out all the fat.'”

After becoming known in the European metal scene, the group is heading out on a much-needed U.S. tour. The group is also working on their fifth album that already has 10 songs demoed out. They don’t just take opportunities for granted, but instead work hard to develop a fanbase and keep them intrigued with new releases.

“We don’t take anything for granted, we don’t take any opportunity for granted,” Bodan said. “We don’t have the attitude that we’re going to wait on somebody to do it for us. We don’t play the type of music that’s ever going to be an overnight sensation.”

Even without the “overnight sensation” type of popularity, Halcyon Way creates music that doesn’t only hold true to the metal music sound, but introduces mature lyrics with topics such as society, war, politics and personal struggles.

“If you don’t feel strongly about your material, then I don’t think your fans are going to either,” Bodan reasoned. “They have to feel the blood, sweat and tears that you put into it.”

Although their set may not be long, the five-piece group is sure to put on a high-energy performance that will help the crowd remember their name. In addition to Bodan the band consists of Steve Braun (vocals), Ernie Topran (drums), Max Eve (rhythm guitar / backing vocals) and Skyler Moore (bass / vocals).

“We’ve only got a 30-minute set, so we’re just gonna go out there and get really sweat and go hard. Just try to pummel the crowd as much as we can with our time. We’re just gonna put on a high-energy show and go out there and take no prisoners.”

HALO CIRCUS return to the Troubadour Dec. 14

Halo Circus, a culturally-diverse band that reinvents genre by creating music in which pop, metal, industrial and alternative rock can coexist, will return to the venue where they first played, the Troubadour on Dec. 14.

“The Troubadour was the first gig we ever played as a band, so going back there really means a lot to us,” singer Allison Iraheta said. “We’re going back there with our friends, we’re inviting our fans, our family, we’re making a big party out of it. It’ll be the same songs we played the first time, but it’ll sound so different.”

Iraheta, bassist/producer Matthew Hager, drummer Veronica Bellino and guitarist Brian Stead are performing on a night they’ve titled “Say it Loud! A Night of Cultural Disruption.” This night was inspired by the unique cultural experiences of Iraheta and other members as a means of contrast, yet unity. To display this unity, the band is getting together a diverse lineup to showcase the importance of all genres, such as punk, pop, funk and more.

“But also making a statement about how it’s not really easy to go out on any day of the week and find a show that has different music,” Iraheta said. “I don’t know, we’ve lost that, or we’re scared to put on a show that has different music, just different bands or musical artists. We wanted to make a statement that it’s time for different sounds and environments and bands to be heard.”

The band’s upcoming concept album to be released in 2016 is a chance to discover the boundaries of modern music techniques mixed with old soulful melodies that Iraheta belts with ease.

“We’ve been making a concept album for the past three years, and on this album the songs are meant to be heard back-to-back,” Iraheta said. “When you’ve been working on something for three years, you want to make sure it’s going to be released as good as you want it to be, and also we’ve had these fans, these incredible people that have been hanging on by a thread with us and they’ve been following us, so we want to give them the best-sounding album that they deserve, that they’ve been waiting for.”

To truly capture the old soul of the music industry, Halo Circus covered Duran Duran’s “Do You Believe In Shame?” adding an aggressive undertone that separates the song from its 80’s roots, bringing it to life as a dark, alternative rock number.

“I think behind the song itself with the lyrics, it’s things that Simon from Duran Duran wrote that needed to be captured — there’s longing, there’s sadness, there’s beauty,” Iraheta said. “And the director captured who we are as a band live. There’s a lot of mystery and curiosity and darkness but also some beauty, like Alice and Wonderland meets Donnie Darko.”

Halo Circus truly is the vision of the band name, giving off the eerie vibes of an abandoned circus, while contrasting the beauty of the bright colors that inhabit it. This is not your typical bilingual alternative band, but a band set for any genre it throws itself into.

“We want to go very weird, but at the same time we want to go really familiar,” Iraheta said. “You know, we have people online saying we’re a dark metal band and some people saying we’re really, really pop. So it’s really fun having that kind of range of people talking about how different your music is.”

Since Iraheta’s appearance as a finalist on American Idol at 16, she has grown as a musician, developing the style of grunge meets pop that is iconically Halo Circus.

“When you’re on a show like that, you’re given this kind of gift to not have to think for yourself because you have people telling you what to do and how to do it and where to be and where to go,” Iraheta recalled. “After being off of a show like that it’s like learning how to walk again on your own. I think I was able to find who I wanted to be as an artist, find who I wanted to be as a human being, find what kind of adult I wanted to be.”